Ode to changing a plug and other poems
April 14, 2009
With their Poetry Season on the horizon, the BBC have thrown down a fabulous gauntlet: take a piece of boring and functional text, such as the instructions on how to change a plug, or how perfectly to roast a chicken and change those commands into verse. You can read the glorious article in full here, including the efforts of Ian McMillan, Niall O’Sullivan and Wendy Cope. Meanwhile, and after our legless chair odes, we thought we’d give it a pop here at the SPL, taking instructions from our answering machine manual on how to record our outgoing message ~
– To record your outgoing message, speak clearly 15 – 20cm from the in-built microphone
– Read all the steps before you begin recording
– Press and hold the STOP button. Your BT Response 15 Plus will beep and display ‘r’.
– Keep holding down the STOP button and speak your message into the microphone.
– When you have finished speaking, release the STOP button. Your BT Response 15 Plus will beep, play back your message, then beep to confirm the recording. It will then return to ‘answer on’ mode.
– To re-record your message, repeat this procedure.
A hand-span away, and already well-read,
you talk the talk,
holding stop till done. Stop.
The answer? A sharp beep
and your own phone voice, telling you
what you already knew.
We want to hear yours!